Writing about Race (ism)

(Long post alert!!)

I was reading a post over at Musings of a Diva, where in response to this post a commenter writes:

I look for black bloggers who blog about things that aren’t race related because I know there’s more out there than racism. I keep my blog racism-free because my life isn’t ruled racism, and I too feel like I can do so much more with my life if I focused on myself and my goals and stop looking for excuses (i.e. racism) to not fulfill my dreams.

If people look under every tree, rock, or leaf for racism they’ll be sure to find it. These types of people never realize how wasteful this activity is of their time.

Fair enough, I guess, but my first reaction was, what? Because of Blogher and for my own general interest, these days I primarily read blogs that are focused on race and racism. None of the writers of those blogs portray themselves as ‘victims.’ Actually, they rarely speak about themselves in first person, instead they comment on news items or on more broad socio / political issues concerning race. I don’t think that in the 12 – 13 years I’ve been on the Web have I ever encountered a website or blog where the owner is whining like a bitch over being discriminated against.

But you know what? Even if I had, good for them. Sure I agree with the commenter in that you can’t let racism impact on how you live your life. But you know what? It does - whether you want it to or not. So what should people do? Stay silent and cower in fear?

I love black bloggers – people who identify themselves as black and write about aspects of their life in which their blackness shapes how they think, how they perceive the world. I think that by commenting on news items, shedding light on issues concerning the black community or providing awareness to others is a good thing. And of people want to start a blog that documents every instance of racism they have ever experienced, let’em. Because it is cathartic to let it out, and the more people stay silenced the less we can do to eradicate racism.

What bothers me about the attitude of the poster is that I think some black folks feel uncomfortable with those who choose to speak the ‘truth.’ They don’t like rabblerousers, the Al Sharptons or Jesse Jackson’s of the world…it makes them feel embarrassed, like white people think that we’re all like that. Yeah, so what? I would rather be known as having a big mouth than for being a cowardly pussy.

Over the past few years, writing about race has been a pain in the ass in terms of measuring whether you are making an impact. Hell, it’s always good to receive feedback – good for the ego and all that – but the content in the responses has been troubling. It’s one thing if people don’t agree with you; it’s another when they feel that because of their ‘background’ that they automatically know more about the situation than you do.

Flashback: August 2006

There was a private dust-up over at Blogher among the CE’s when I asked that a comment be removed from the site. Someone had written within their response, “niggers of the third world.” The rest of the comment was so garbled I didn’t understand exactly what their point was. It was removed soon after, but what really bothered me were the comments from my fellow CE’s. Some actually tried to make excuses for the commenter, saying that the person’s first language might have not been English (?), arguing First Amendment rights bullshit, and arguing that since ‘Hip-Hop artists use the word, why can’t anyone else?’

Needless to say, I was pissed. I assumed that the CE’s would be a bit more socially evolved than that. I couldn’t believe that people were actually trying to make excuses, alluding that maybe I was being too sensitive, or that I had misunderstood the context of the post i.e – that I was being too sensitive.

(Amended 24/08/07)

I've known for a long time now that just because someone might refer to themselves as feminists or liberal does not mean that they do not have some 'quirky' issues surrounding race (I'm trying to be polite here). But why does it continue to surprise me? In hindsight, perhaps I just expected more.

( The ‘its my Blog’ Rant)

Let me say this to all the people who use the same excuses as those above. I can only speak for myself and my experiences with the “N” word. The first time someone called me that (that I can remember) I was 5. I have been through so much shit growing up in an all-white environment and have probably experienced every form of racism you can imagine. Did I ask for it? Hell no. Do I consider myself a victim? No, I don’t. But this is real life, my experiences, and based on my experiences I can fully understand the difference between when a black person uses nigger and when a non-black person does. Unless you have been on the service end of a word spat at you with hatred and contempt and been treated in a manner ( by strangers, so-called friends and family members who you assumed didn’t think of you as a nigger but in time treated you in a manner that proved otherwise) perhaps you will never understand. But guess what? Even though it might kill you to do this, you are going to have to take the word of people who have experienced it and lived it to measure what is offensive and what is not. When white people try to tell me, to ‘school’ me on the usage of a word that people who look like them have used against me as a derogatory  term, telling me that perhaps ‘I got it all wrong’ I get pissed off as fuck.

(sigh)

Which brings me back to my original thought. I have written about race and racism for 20 years, beginning with a letter to the editor at the Kingston Whig Standard when I was in high school. I have received my fair share of criticism... even though I must admit that in comparison to others, I’ve been pretty lucky. At times I wonder, is it worth it? Recently, I have tried to quell the feelings that my posts on Blogher are not making an impact. Perhaps I suck, but methinks that the people who are reading (if any) don’t care or are not interested. On the flip side I don’t want to complain because I could also be hit with a barrage of hate mail and trolls and if you read the above rant, you know I have little patience for people who use the same uniformed and lazy defences over and over again. People who take the time to comment, but spend no time thinking objectively before commenting.

I am not Angry Black Woman or Field Negro. I don’t post as often as they do, are not as articulate and most of all, as a Canadian, I tend to shy away from certain topics that in my opinion, are better discussed by Americans. Should I be speaking out on more instances of racism in Canada? Sure. But when I write for Blogher, it is better to stick with situations that affect the primarily American audience – they tend to get more feedback.

For the last few months, I have been reading That Black Girl, a blog that is listed on the Blogher website. It’s like watching a train wreck, it really is. And while I feel a tad guilty about calling another blogger out, I have some serious issues with her.

Do I comment? Once I did and I think it was blocked. I haven’t bothered to do so since. Hell it’s her blog, she can write what she wants, but recently she posted a couple of entries that made me want to go down to Portland and shake her. She is married to a white man, has two boys and seems to have a serious complex about being in an IR relationship. She has admitted to being ashamed of what her husband does for a living, the house she lives in and feels (or emotes the feeling) that she is uncomfortable around other blacks, even though she live in a primarily white environment. I feel (as some of the commenter’s do) sorry for her children. Having a biracial niece and nephew (and cousins, for that matter) I am ultra sensitive about them being proud to be who they are, regardless of what bullshit their parents throw their way.

But I am hooked. In some ways I think she is providing a service. While people like me respond and react to specific media accounts of overt racism, she is working out her own 'issues' and using her site to invite comments and criticism, looking at a different and seldom talked about dimension of how racism affects black folks. And criticism she does get. From what I read, a couple of people have suggested that she seek counselling, which if that were me I would be shattered! ( you see, it’s okay if I say I need counselling, just not anyone else!).

From my background and having white parents and siblings, I could have been just like her, choosing to internalize the misconceptions and stereotypes about black people and believe in the generalizations. Hell, you should meet my older sister! Prime example……Some people have applauded her for her openness and again, some people have criticized her but overall that is one of the best things about utilizing the web to look for different perspectives on race – you might not always agree, but you are guaranteed to find something that if you let it, might change your mind.

Comments

[Villager]

This is my first time checking out your blog. I hope you continue to write in your own style at your own pace. Ain't none of us Field Negro (smile).

As an aside, your membership in The AfroSpear should be confirmed shortly. I just learned today that I'm responsible for the mechanics ... so I'm working thru the list of folks that have asked to join ... and yours is in the queue!

peace, Villager

[Rain]

don't stop writing about what YOUR experience is. There are SO many of us who need to hear it!!!

I would be really happy to hear more about racism in Canada. The binational non-profit agency I work for has an "anti-racism" (now so toned down that it barely deserves the name anymore) mandate, and the curriculum in Canada is different than the curriculum in the US. Most (white) folks in our Canada offices will say that "well, we don't have the same kinds of problems in Canada", but I've heard from at least one African-American woman that many African-Canadians (?!) don't agree with this assessment.

In reading your post, I thought of what I read on a totally unrelated blog recently--that blogs today are like the independent newspapers of the past . . . the only voice for the "other" side of the story. I'm misquoting, but hopefully you get the idea.

That rings in my ears, along with a quote from the movie _Hairspray_ (the new one), where Tracy's mom tells her not to protest because "you'll be put on LISTS!" I actually started to get scared when I heard that, thinking about the types of things I blog about. But there is at least a small part of me that is willing to be on any "list" they want to put me on, because I can't stop talking about this stuff. and I hope you won't either!

[The Black Sentinel]

Well said, I too have tried to comment on that black girl blog. I was being blocked for months then one day I guess I toned down my irritation enough to get in. But anyway, I too grew up in a white environment, in the U.S. and I can't relate to that chick at all. I feel that she and those like her are a big part of the problem. I too feel compelled to read her blog and just try and talk some sense in to her, but I fear that it's a waste of time.

Last year I moved from Toronto to Edmonton. Phew, now that place was racist (lots of emphasis on racist). I was disgusted, I felt like I was back in the states and in Idaho again. I didn't stay there for but a few months before calling it quits and running home to the states. Unfortunately this taught me two things, the grass isn't always greener on the other side of the fence (even though Canada is beautiful), and blatant racism is pretty much everywhere.

Unfortunately I don't know if I see being categorized as a victim as a super bad thing. I don't necessarily like it, but if someone does something to you, you are a victim of whatever they did. But, would or will I let it screw up my life, I think not. But, if it has to do with things such as employment, health care, or education, you are pretty much at the mercy of those in charge. If racism rears its ugly head, then yes you can go to another doctor, apply for other jobs and attend some other school. My problem is that why should I have to do this?

[Francis L. Holland]

Are you going to join the AfroSpear?