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February 12, 2010



Thanks everyone!

Jesus Michelle. What a crappy story. I don't even know what to say, but thank you for sharing that and I'm so sorry that you had to endure that painful experience. People (well, some people) can be so evil.

Michelle Lane-Ogden

Thanks for sharing this Laina. As a multi-ethnic woman of color, meaning my mom is white and my dad is black, who is married to a white man, and we have a 3-year-old child who looks like me physically, but is closer in skin tone to my husband, this seems like the story of my life. Dating has never been easy for me, and since I have dated primarily white males, things have been very difficult at times.

I had a similar experience when I was in junior high. I dated a boy who's father wasn't happy about me being his son's girlfriend, and one day when I called the house, he answered the phone and told my boyfriend that his nigger was on the phone. We didn't date for much longer after that, not only because of his father's hatred of our relationship, but because another girl, a white girl who was supposed to be my friend went behind my back and had sex with my boyfriend. That was probably one of the most hurtful things that happened to me when I was a kid. There I was in love with this boy, I thought he loved me, and the person I confided the most in about our relationship goes and stabs me in the back, knowing about all of my insecurities dealing with racism, being one of the ONLY interracial couples at school, it was just awful. I cried and cried for weeks, and I still haven't forgiven her.

Most of my other dating experiences have been chock-full of questioning looks from parents and friends, misinformed statements about what our children would be like, and waking up one morning to find out that all along I've been sleeping next to a closet racist (more than once).

Worrying about my appearance, being judged against white women, not knowing if it's safe to approach someone I find attractive. It's been a mine field of psychological torture.

Again, thank you for sharing this.


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