Writing is Fighting

What I did for Black History Month

Not much, really. Had too many other things on my mind.

Last night I attended this event held by Sway magazine entitled (quite bluntly) Is Canada More Racist than the U.S?

Back in the day I would try to attend all the festivities I could during BHM. I loved film screenings and panel discussions, as it seems like the only time black folk in Toronto want to congregate - outside of Caribana or a Calypso club - is during the chilly month of February. O.K I admit I'm being a bit cynical here.

My cynicm spilled over a bit into last night's event which was held at a very nice club downtown. Surprisingly, the event was free and I even scored a free drink ticket, which was cool. I was a bit disappointed that the discussion was not a panel and that there were no chairs for the hundreds of people who were stuffed into a sweaty room to watch the presenters (10) each give a five minute monologue, giving their opinion on the topic.

Some of the speakers were not that great. Rambling away as though they wanted to avoid the topic at hand. As I made the fatal mistake of wearing heels and then standing on a concrete floor for an uncomfortably long amount of time, I was planning to bolt after the first speaker, whom seemed more intent on marketing her career than talking about racism in Canada.

However, besides the large amount of people yammering away and pointedly ignoring the pretty impressive group of speakers, more interested in passing out business cards than the actual event, the speakers got better and surprisingly, they enunciated basically every snarky thing I had not-so secretly thought about racism in Canada, in a more tactful manner.

In today's Toronto Star they highlighted the three out of the four speakers that resonated with me the most: Dwayne Morgan, who is a well-known spoken word artist, was amazing:

I think that it is much easier to navigate through life when you know exactly where you fit in, but as a Canadian person of color, I am made to feel like a foster child, desperately wanting to feel like a part of the family.

I was also impressed with Zananda Akande, a former principal and Ontario Cabinet minister:

When racism is pointed out, much time is spent in denial, charging the incident or circumstance to other causes, or claiming oversensitivity or misinterpretation.

If the charge is institutional or systemic racism, research is demanded to prove its existence...

After the research is completed and analyzed, an implementation plan is discussed and hopefully designed.

All this happens haltingly and hesitantly before any concrete measures are taken, if taken, leaving the claimants to suffer not only the racism, but also the resentment of their colleagues, or worse. It also allows for much time and energy to be expended before the issue is addressed

Probably because the reporter did not stick around long enough to listen to what Michael 'Pinball' Clemons had to say, the Star didn't mention him. Clemons is the former coach for the Toronto Argonautts, an American who announced during his very short speech that he is applying for Canadian citizenship. I had heard that he was a gifted speaker and he didn't disappoint.

Clemons responded to one of the assertions that Morgan made that 'I'd rather have someone tell me that I'm a nigger to my face than the subversive ways in which Canadians do.' I'm paraphrasing here, but he was talking about the backhanded, passive/aggressive racism that we are so used to. Clemons talked about when he was a kid growing up in Florida, some of the very overt racism he endured and how the painful memories had remained into his adult years. He looked like he was going to burst into tears when he said that he preferred the 'Canadian way' over the American. 'For me, I don't want to know what they think. I don't need to know."

"What about the racists in this room?" Now the room was packed with Negroes (and a sprinkling of white reporters and spouses) so we all looked at each other in confusion. "You. You," he exclaimed, wagging his finger at the stunned audience. He explained that there was many of us who hated each other because we were black, which led to our inactivity in working together as a community. He then jumped off the stage and disappeared into the crowd.

But to put what he said into perspective with what some of the other speakers had argued, such as writer Rinaldo Walcott, who asked why no one had bothered to question why there were no historical monuments or buildings named after great African-Canadian leaders and luminaries, such as writer / politician Rosemary Brown, George Elliot Clarke and former Lieutenant Governor Lincoln Alexander, it made sense. No one had organized it, felt that it was important to show the shawtys comin' up that yes, black folk in Canada actually did something productive to change the social and economic structure in Canada.

I dunno. As mentioned before I've been to too many of these events, feeling inspired and hopeful only to conveniently forget about the 'messages of inspiration' when real life comes crashing in. I really enjoyed hanging out with my friend Del and chatting with couple of people I hadn't seen in years, but honestly? I don't really think there are going to be any Kumbaya moments anytime soon.

New Issue of Metal Edge and Black History Month

So it is unfortunate that this is the 2nd to last issue of ME because this issue is off the shizzle. EIC Phil Freeman had introduced some new columns and the writing and the contents are tight. 

In this issue, I wrote a piece on The Faceless, Viking Skull and reviewed the last album from Light This City, Stuck Mojo and Unsun. Since the PDF isn't up on the site yet, I'm unable to rip the pages and post them here, but I'll get to it eventually. 

I didn't much like Stuck Mojo's The Great Revival. Since I'm known to be pretty blunt, it was simply godawful. While I like to give props to my brothers and sisters in the metal scene, I couldn't with MC Lord Nelson, whose rap delivery was horrible. I cannot believe their publicist actually sent this album to the metal mags for review, because what I have read since writing the piece a few months ago, they all agreed that it was terrible. I had heard a couple of earlier tracks from previous albums and they were pretty good. So what the hell happened?

Anyway, also in the issue was a great piece on God Forbid's Dallas and Doc Coyle about being black in the metal scene. Like many people, they were turned on by the music of the era, first listening to R&B and Hip-Hop and then when they heard Guns & Roses and Megadeth, they went over to the dark side. I don't know if I had previously mentioned on this blog to head on over to Metalsucks.net and read Dallas's blog, but you should. I'm a regular reader and I have to hand it to the dude - to be honest, I don't know if I would have continued writing for MS after some of the responses. Some of the comments on his more 'controversial' posts gather quite a bit of racist bullshit from people who, a) have a screw loose and/or b) are just trying to rile Dallas up. However, he is funny, insightful, has a well-formed opinion on the music industry and is damned cute, to boot.  I'll definitely be checking out the band when they hit the T-Dot in the spring. 

And of course, Rob Halford made the #1 spot for the Best Frontmen / Women in metal - well, there was only one woman, which was Arch Enemy's Angela Gossow (#24). I had actually voted for ex-Warlock's Doro Pech too, but I guess she didn't make the cut.

Black History Month 

This morning, I wrote my regular post over on Blogher about whether Black History Month is still needed. As I mentioned in the post, the New York Post's decision to run a cartoon depicting President Obama as a dead Chimpanzee pretty much summed up the answer to that. Some folks need to understand the history of African-American racial stereotypes (that also pertain to us Canadians) and exactly why that cartoon was offensive.But the sad thing is, is that they probably do know and just don't care.

 And it seems like what happens is that every now and then, someone says or does something so offensive they know what the reaction will be, and then black folks get out of shape and then the offenders whine and say that blacks are too sensitive. Right Amy Holmes? 

Also, I mentioned that Attorney Eric Holder accused the American public of being cowards in relation to their reluctance to have open discussions about race relations. I agree in part because I notice that while my weekly posts at Blogher get a fair amount of hits, there are not a lot of comments - or when they are, they are from other CE's or regular black commenter's. I rarely - unless my posts are linked to the AOL or iVillage website (they are in partnership with Blogher) - get comments where the commenter either agrees or wants to challenge me on what I wrote. Since I have been writing for them for over 3 years, I have come to the same conclusion as Holder - albeit, not that harsh. But I do think that generally, people are pretty reluctant on talking about race. On an aside, when my posts are featured on the other two websites, I get a load of crazies. You can't win, I guess.

It's not that I am craving attention or that I am insecure about what I write, but the reason why Blogher has that section and the reason why I write for it is to incite dialog. That way, opinions can be formed, shaped and expressed and the work can begin. But I swear, sometimes I hear crickets chirping.

New Lamb of God Video - I'm Digging This Track

Set To Fail

What is it with white boys and long hair? Mmm, mmm, mmm!

Okay, what I meant to say is that I like the fact that they filmed this in B/W, a simplistic video of a (multicultural) crowd just rocking out. The only problem that I have had with Lamb of God over the years is they always seem to sound like Pantera. I liked their last two releases As The Palaces Burn and Sacrament and from early reviews for Wrath which should be out of February 24th, is, according to early reviews, more leaner and meaner. Enjoy!

R.I.P Metal Edge and a Black Punk Band - Death

The fine folks over at Afropunk posted a track from Death- an all-black punk band from Detroit, circa 1975. To me, this is quite interesting, as I had never heard of the band, which in the post (hat tip to Fader mag for the picture) pre-dates Bad Brains by about six years. I gotta check this out.

As some of you might have heard, both Metal Edge and its sister publication, Metal Maniacs have stopped publication for the foreseeable future. Metal Edge, which I was fortunate enough to write for, had been around for over 20 years. Metal Maniacs, which besides the online format I had never really read because it was impossible to find a copy in Toronto, covered the more 'extreme' genres.

Honestly? I was more pissed at this news than I was losing my F/T job a couple of weeks ago. It's not the loss of a freelance gig = money, it was more than that to me. I absolutely loved the challenge, as I had always wanted to write for a publication that focused on the heavier musical genres. Even though I had been a rabid reader of Circus, Creem and Hit Parader as a kid, which greatly influenced my desire for a writing career, for years, I really struggled with whether as a black girl I would be able to get a job in an all-male, predominately white musical scene. I had kind of pushed it to the back of my mind, choosing to listen and participate in other forms of the metal scene and ended up writing for 'urban' publications, covering Hip-Hop and R&B which quite frankly, bored me.

Please note that this was before the Internet boom, when being a music journalist meant that you would do more in-person interviews and phoners - email interviews did not exist. As a teenager I envisioned heading out to interview Judas Priest and being laughed out of the door. Also, I came from a rural predominately white environment where are my interactions with 'metalheads' were not pleasurable experiences. I had been told 'you do not belong here,' and later when I moved to Toronto by my black brethren, 'do you think you're white? Black folks do not listen to metal' so many times that I had just figured that it wasn't in the cards for me.

In 2005, I was invited to contribute to an anthology, Marooned by editor (and later editor-in-chief of ME) Phil Freeman. I later went to visit him at his office and he invited me to write for the publication. Quite honestly, I was a tad frightened at disappointing Phil, whom I greatly respect as a writer, and disappointing myself. Ufortunately the latest issue, the March 09 one with the legendary Rob Halford on the cover (yeah!), included probably the best writing I have done for the mag. There should be one more, April 09, hitting the stands in March.

So the news is surprising, but because of the economic downturn - especially in the US - not shocking. But as others have pointed out magazines and albums (CD's and vinyl) have always served as important factors in metal cultures. I collected magazines and albums as a kid, and still hold on to many of them (those that my mother hasn't thrown out, that is). So when metal pubs hit the skids, it is really unfortunate.

But we will see what happens in the future. I planning to keep on pitching to other pubs and doing what I do. Let's hope that the full-time staffers at both publications are able to get back in the game real soon.

A Follow-Up To My Last Post

I just wanted to let the fine readers of Writing is Fighting - all three of you - of an excellent post up at the Black Snob. Danielle has written a continuation of sorts on the 'black girls' issue, and I hope you will head on over and check it.

If you don't, here's a bit of an explanation about the post. Danielle writes about her experience discovering a healthy self-awareness about the representations of black female beauty- okay, umm, that's not a great explanation, so go on over and read it. I just wish I had something so heartwarming to write, but I don't. Danielle is lucky.

I think that one of the issues about creating a blog that serves as a personal journal and a warehouse of your writing work is that you have to watch what you say. If you scroll back a few years, you will see that on this site there have been plenty of times where I have delved into more of the personal than the professional - and caught some offline shit for it. Because of recent circumstances, it is better that this blog remains more of a "omigod I love this band" type of thing than "omigod my life sucks" type of blog. So I'll leave it to people who can do a better job of it than I can.

I will say this, though: Being a militant Black chick into metal is way more complicated than you think. I've lost a lot of readership due to the change in content over the past year, but I have to stay true to myself. I do think, that issues that Danielle raises on her site are extremely interesting and I wholeheartedly agree with and want to participate in her project, which she discusses via the above link. But due to personal circumstances, I don't think that it's a great idea.

But please.....head on over, read her amazing post, and participate!

It's Hard To Find Pretty Black Girls In America.

It's a quiet Sunday afternoon. I went to the gym this morning and in my fervor to get fit, I think I pulled a stomach muscle (gotta get the abs tight for the summer!) so instead of doing some much-needed work, I've been watching the Death Wish marathon on AMC and periodically checking emails.

So a couple of minutes ago, I checked my Google Reader and came across a couple of posts from one of my faves, Black Snob and was appalled at this:

After writing two posts about the advertising/modeling industry suddenly scratching their heads and having their worlds turned upside down by clients wanting a more "ethnic" look in the kid campaigns due to First Daughter Fever, and reading unadulterated BULLSHIT like, "(T)he First Daughters are tough subjects to match" and “It’s a very specific age and a very specific ethnicity, so there aren’t that many girls that would necessarily fit the bill,” I can no longer stand idle and say do nothing.

 So apparently advertisers and marketers are trying to make a buck by trying to find child models who resemble Malia and Sasha for upcoming campaigns - and are having a difficult time trying to find brown children who are.....biracial? Or 3/4's Black? or, as the above statement suggests, attractive, wealthy and Black?

Give me a f#$cking break.

First, all this marketing crap, such as T-shirts, mugs, the "Drunken Negro" cookies (created in sheer ignorance by a baker as a throwback to the good ol' minstrel days, I guess) , posters, flags, hairstyles, watching what Michelle Obama is wearing..caring about what Michelle Obama is wearing.......is wearing me thin.  

I understand that the world has rapidly changed in terms of our dependence on technology and the overabundance of consumerism, since the days when Chelsea Clinton or even the drunken Bush twins entered the Oval Office. The first Black folks to enter the White House by the front door instead of the back have proven to be a very lucrative marketing tool for many Madison Avenue advertising firms to manipulate for their own gain. But what is really sad is how out of touch many people were prior to Obama entering the media's eye that yes, there are black people in America who actually have Ivy League educations, can afford designer clothes without being signed to a Hip-Hop label or slinging crack, and their children actually speak the Queen's English!  But I've mentioned that before so I won't bother ranting about that nonsense again.

What unnerved me about Danielle's post was what initially came to my mind.

Thank God I don't have children.

It's not that I don't like kids or don't want kids - I am mildly afraid of kids, though, as I think that they can see right through me and realize I'd be a horrible, selfish parent - but what scares me most is if I were to have girls,how would they be received in this world?

Don't get me wrong - I see pretty black girls every day. But I also know pretty black women who have severe issues with self-esteem, depression, drug and alcohol abuse and other issues. They grew up thinking that they were not pretty or as worthy as their white counterparts. They grew up in a time when black folks were not regularly seen in mainstream media and as bullshit tends to run downhill, they had parents who did not validate not only their aesthetics, but their worth - that their beauty was equal to the white, Asian, Latina, etc. girls that they went to school with. They were told - sometimes directly that their natural hair is ugly, their round behinds, thick hips and full lips are unacceptable, and that when they voiced their opinion, that they would be feared, ostracized or even worse, simply ignored like they weren't even there. And again, as bullshit runs downhill and most importantly because so many people have been ingrained with the negativity that exists in society about black beauty, these pretty black women I know will most likely pass the same negative issues and messages on to their daughters. which is why I am glad I do not have girls of my own.

So I take great offense to the subject matter in Danielle's / Black Snob's posts. Not because it is ridiculously false, but because I see the hidden connotations behind advertising fims / modeling agency's ' struggles' to find black models who look like Malia and Sasha.