Writing is Fighting

Outtakes from new Toronto Star article

First, I have an article in the Toronto Star. Check it out.

As the word count is pretty rigid, there was so much interesting stuff that I couldn't put in about what, if any social, economical and political changes Black Canadians might experience if Barak Obama becomes president. I asked a couple of questions that were not in the article and there was more elaborate responses, so I thought I would post some 'soundbites' here. I will not use the names of the respondents just in case......

Will a black candidate help elievate racism in North America? ( I asked this because 'some' feel that it would be a sign that racism will be no longer be an 'issue' - yeah, right)

Racism will be even worse if he was president. All those ugly whites. Racism will rise to a level that we haven’t seen before because a lot of whites hate black people. You have Rush Lambaugh, sean hannity, you have ABC, fox launching attacks. That’s where the mainstream media comes in, launching attacks. They will give room to (racists) any black person who get appointed – whether it be the supreme court or any level of government, will be targeted because they are black. You can also expect those whites who feel entitled because of white skin privledge that ‘hey, I’m not getting what I once had and I need to do something to those people who I feel have taken my spot where I should have been'. And then you will see it on the street. I don’t think we will be singing ‘we shall overcome.’

But wasn’t Obama thinking about this (how his candicacy would affect race / racism) before? Doesn’t / should he be thinking about the future?

You always have to weigh the pros and the cons. But you always have to look at what is good to you. We have never had a black man who has had a credible challenge before. It seems that he has a good shot in terms of delegates and fund raising. He is doing everything right. You have to ask yourself – what is the nature of citizenship? You are entitled to….How does it translate? A lot more Canadian blacks could run for political office. We might be seeing a huge change among the younger generation, as he has reached out to youth like nobody else has. He’s younger and looks young. And he will not be the youngest person but he is inspiring to the younger generation.

Do you think Black Canadians would volunteer to go down to the States and work on Obama's campgain - if they (legally) could?

I don’t think that a lot of Canadian black would go down to help with Obama’s campaign. I think it’s cute I think it’s funny and I think it’s silly. I think that Obama represents all of us. He is an immigrant – but he is not an immigrant, he has roots in Africa, he has other cultures in him he is American but on the other hand, he isn’t. I think that he represents all blacks but he also represents non-blacks, too.

Is it fair to think that an Obama presidency will be a positive imfluence among black youth? What about Canadians? (Okay I rephrased it a bit better during the interview)

“It will give (black youth) the self-respect and boost the image of the black community in the eyes of the country and in the world. At least I hope it will let people see that we can be more than gang-bangers and ‘ho’s!” Admitting that she is concerned more with American politics and Canadian politics because “I think what happens over there has a bigger impact on the world than what happens here,” she does not think that it will help in unifying the cultural differences that presently lie within the Black Canadian community. “There is not common experience. Black Canadians do not really have that one defining moment in their history. Whatever we experience here is just the byproduct of the African – American experience. Our clothing, the way we talk, the videos we watch – all these are based on the black American culture. Heck, you can’t even name a single leader in the community!”

F&*k! S@#t is blowing up, yo - Crazy summer, pt 2

So this is a continuation of This is going to be one crazy-ass summer. There is so much to say, and not so much time....but I wanted to ask a couple of questions that have been bothering me for awhile......

1. What did Rev. Wright say that was so wrong? I agreed with him. Except for the AIDS bit about the US government conspiring to kill off Negroes. That was a stretch........ I just thought it was strange that even though he explained during his appearance at the Press Club that the media - a) used very old clips of selective portions of his sermons, thereby tainting the overall message; and b) when he famously said "Goddamn America" he was actually quoting someone else. Don't people get it? But oh no, white folks just see a black man spouting an opinion that makes them feel uncomfortable and they get scurred. Payback's a bitch, ain't it? Sheeit.

2. Did Obama do the right thing? First, he throws his granny under a bus, and then Rev. Wright. I'm on the fence about this one. On one hand I think he did what he had to do, which was save his black ass (yes, I am claiming him as one of our own), on the other hand I think that he pissed of a majority of black Americans who feel that they need a President elect who is willing to be balls-out on the real truth about race in America. But in reality, you do that, and you'd be lucky your ass don't end up in jail with some trumped-up charge. Sho-nuff.  Wright, on the other hand, is questionable. I think that if I were him, I would have done the same thing by coming out and trying to explain myself, as even though Obama is running for the most powerful position in North America, it was pretty evident that he was not looking out for Wright's best interest. Therefore, if Wright wanted to clear his name and tell people what he really thinks, so be it. On the other hand, he might just have cost Obama the predidency.

But whose fault is that? Wright's? Look, you have to look out for No. 1. Wright was a minister - a very popular one - for over 30 years. He don't want to go out like that, so I think he just thought, 'f^#k it' and did what he had to do. Is it fair? No. But I don't blame him. BUT I also don't blame the many people who felt that he should have kept his mouth shut until after the election.

Anyway, what I am trying to say is that despite the fact that I plan to see some serious kick-ass concerts this summer, I anticipate that it will be a difficult season because of the Presidential election and the heightened racial strife. It really angers me to see not only the media play along with this blatant bullshit over Rev. Wright, but how people actually buy into the notion that just because a person was associated with someone who might have held some 'radical' ( i.e the truth) views, that makes him somehow cupable to all the world's ails. Why isn't John McCain's pastor getting the same treatment? Why isn't Hillary Clinton catching more heat for her race-baiting?

Why, Lord, why?

I'd like to write about this over at.....well, I won't.

This is going to be one crazy-ass summer, Part 1.

Part 1. The Music

Awesome concerts. Protests. The possibility of riots. Fun Fun Fun!!!!

Anyone who has been reading this blog since 2005 knows that I have been a die-hard Judas Priest fan since I was a kid. A friend of mine recently let me know that they are coming to Toronto August 13th with Motorhead. Holy shit! What a lineup, since I first saw Priest in 2004 and Slayer opened for them. Fabulous! Needless to say, I am going. I have always wanted to see Motorhead, so this is going to be a show.

The funny thing is, is that my bestest homegirl has agreed to come with me and after I got over the initial excitement, the first thing that came out of my mouth was, "let's get wasted and kick some ass!" It wasn't until the next day that I realized that a) there is a good possibility, given both of our tempers and willingness to fight random people that that could actually happen; and b) that I had temporarily forgotten my age, ethnicity and gender and that I was no longer a naive kid who could stir shit up and conveniently forget about consequences....like prison? Criminal record?

The week before that concert, the Rockstar Energy Mayhem Energy Tour featuring Mastodon, Slipknot, disturbed and from what I originally gathered, Sevendust, are coming to town. I thought that I would definitely check out the Toronto show, but they moved the location to a field, which turned off all my potential concert-going friends. One potential, who is my age, said that she was too old to be using a Port-o-Let in public, especially after a long day drinking beer in the hot summer sun. Another friend bowed out because Kathy Griffin is doing a show in the T-dot that night. Jesus! Man up, people!

Seriously, though. Do I really want to spend a day hanging around kids who are half my age and risk getting even more sun damage to my already ravaged skin? I think not. That's why if I go, it is going to have to be writing / work related. Getting older really sucks sometimes! So I might bow out of the latter concert, as I am told that Mastodon will probably make another trip to town sometime later this year, god willing.

Stay tuned for Part 2 - Political and racial strife - What is going to happen this summer?

I love My People....Really

There has been a whole lotta excellent blog posts up recently. Well if you look hard enough there are always great posts. For me, what is attractive is when someone dares to discuss something that you had thought about posting about but hesitated for fear of a nasty rebuttal. But since my hits have dropped off, I guess it doesn't really matter what I post here! So here it goes:

I am really feeling this new-ish blogger, The Black Snob who is off the hook. An excellent writer, funny as hell (you also need to check out her satirical site The Secret Council of American Negroes) she recently posted a commentary on, well, bougie black folks, most notably referring to the new website The Root.com.

I checked out The Root a few weeks back and actually felt a bit bad for thinking that not only was it kinda bougie, but that while it could have served as a valuable resource (as a potential freelancing opportunity), it was just not my skeez. I instantly knew that there was no way that not only would I have nothing to offer them, but I just did not relate or have interest in anything that they would want a prospective writer to cover. Plus, I looked at their roster of talent, which was pretty uninspiring - they have selected a roster of previously well-known AA writers with no great emphasis on bringing fresh faces to the table - playing it safe with no surprises. No offence, Jimi. So anyway, I was pretty pleased that Snob covered it.

I've been thinking about writing this post for a long time, especially since recently I have said to a couple of friends that as a writer, I no longer want any Black Canadian clients. Reading Snob's blog, checking out some recent posts from the Field Negro has compelled me to let it all hang out - a bit. Things are heating up in the US with the Democratic Presidential election and race and racism has reared its ugly head - always was there, just now everyone has a bird's eye view. On the other hand the NAACP has decided - along with Al Sharpton - to defend the accused Black rapists / torturers from the Dunbar Village case. We can love our people but we cannot be blind to the fact that everyone is human and that sometimes, we have to look after ourselves before anyone else, which means we sometime have to call each other out.

Sounds pretty bad, eh? Kinda prejudiced? Let me explain, as I think that it needs a bit of explanation.

A few months back, I did some work for a person who was referred to me by a longtime client. To make a long story short, during the duration of doing this job I realized that she was known as a con artist and the cheque that was given to me for the final portion of the job,bounced. She had her 'financial advisor' write me a cheque to an account that was later revealed to be sans funds (that they knew about) when they gave me the cheque. The bank froze my account two days before Christmas. So during the Christmas holidays and into February I was trying to get paid. Because I hounded both my client and the 'financial advisor' they became upset with me for inquiring about payment because after numerous text messages and phone calls, promising that they were on the way to the bank to deposit money into my account, even though the money was never deposited. What bothers me are two things:

1) They felt that because I didn't trust their transparent lies that they were on the way to the bank to  that they did not have to pay me - this was after over two months of not reimbursing me for the  bounced cheque;

2) The 'financial advisor' said to me when I was sceptical (and was proven right) that he was going to pay what was owing to me in my account in the next couple of days,that as 'black people we need to work together, to have each other's back.' Are you fucking kidding me? Now the motherfucker won't return my calls.

The caveat? I am now charging interest and will have to take them to small claims court. And I will have to pay for the court case out of my pocket and will probably never see the money. Oh, and I had the client sign a written agreement that she would pay be within 14 days of the completed project. I guess she lost the agreement. I haven't.

Needless to say, I was so angry that I had to let it go, otherwise I would have killed her. Also, this is part of the game of freelancing - you do have to trust that the people you are working with that they are going to pay you. Right now, I am dealing with another client who is giving me a song and dance and most likely, I will have problems recouping my money from her. She also used the same song and dance on me about how we need to look out for each other.

It is not these two instances that have turned me off working with Canadian Black folks - and I say Canadian because it seems to be a common trait and I have American ( Black and white) clients who I have not had these issues with. Over the seven years I have been doing various writing gigs for people in my city, I keep having the same problems with people that think you should work for them for free, people who delay paying you until you harass them to death and what I find incredibly insulting, is that despite my experience, they feel that they are doing you a favour and that all us Negroes need to scratch each other's back. But you aren't scratching my back. You are fucking me in the ass. (Excuse my language).

Quite frankly, I had it with being ripped off, unprofessional-ism among my own people and people who want to run their own business but unwilling to put the effort into doing it right. It sounds incredibly bad, snobby and prejudiced, but in my experience it is the truth. I honestly think that some Black Canadians are so in love with the facade of Americanized Hip-Hop success, that they think that it takes little effort to become successful and / or to make a load of money. We do not know enough about how successful Black folks had to work to make their coin, and some of the people I have dealt with over the years are unwilling to deal with others in a professional manner. And you know why I am writing this? Because it is hurtful.

Hurtful because I am a supporter of black and minority-owned businesses, I spend hours every week writing about issues that effect our communities. I put in the time in educating myself in ways that I needed to because I did not grow up in a black family or environment. I am not feeling sorry for my elf, but just realizing that it is time for me to grow the fuck up a bit and stop romanticizing that perhaps we will all be miraculously 'unified' because of our shared ethnicity.

Money only comes in one colour, and that is green, baby.

New Music - Meshuggah and Agnostic Front...and Fibroids?

Honestly? I have felt like crap for a couple of weeks because of these damn Fibroids. I have been going through the motions and even though I remain pretty busy I feel like my energy has been zapped by like, 75%. I wrote a bit about it this week at Blogher. Ordinarily, it is perhaps not the best idea to highlight 'women problems' online but large amount of women suffer from this problem and as I mention in the Blogher piece, I have had a difficult time trying to locate blogs by black women who talk about their experiences. So if you know of any or if you are writing about your own experiences, holla over at the other site as they are doing an interesting series right now. Plus, I ain't ashamed.

Wanted y'all metalheads to check out a couple of recent releases I have been digging. First, you have to check out the latest disc by Meshuggah, Obzen is the first album I've picked up from the band who has been around for awhile, and like Neurosis I will probably slowly make my way through their back catalogue. What can I say? Meshuggah is certainly not going to be everyone's cup of tea but their music is totally hypnotic, musicianship is incredible and yes, I am going to see them when they hit Toronto in May. Alone, that is. Unless someone wants to join a lonely, middle-aged black woman.........hint, hint.

I have been a curious follower of Agnostic Front for over fifteen years. Why? I dunno. I used to hang out with this guy who was, how can I say this politely? A self-hating Jewish dude who seemed to get off on anything anti-Jewish. He was really cool - turned me on to alot of hardcore punk and we used to see a lot of shows together but he had this unhealthy fascination with everything German - not specificallyGerman people and culture, but Nazi stuff, like he thought all German people were secretly racist. He was dating this German exchange student, who was beautiful and totally out of his league and he seemed to get off more on the fact that she was the stereotypical German-looking person and less that he had scored with a hot blonde, nice girl. Strange.

Anyway, he played me an old Agnostic Front album and I digged it. I then saw an interview with singer Roger Miret ( who is hot hot hot ) and Vinnie Stigma - who looked like he wouldn't hesitate to kick you ass into tomorrow - and I was hooked. Miret had just gotten out of prison and he had this cool tattoo of Jesus on a cross on his back. I was more fascinated by the two guys than the music, but over the next few years I would hear their music sporadically.

Since I have the musical taste of a 16 year-old, suburban, angst-filled white boy, I have started reading a lot of metal magazines, something I used to do when I was a teenager and read a review of their new album, Warriors and thought I would check out their Myspace page, which led me to picking up the album the next day. But are they racist?????

This is where the definition of racism gets a little murky. Miret is Cuban and Stigma - and from the looks of the other band members - are Italian, so can they be racist? Umm, yeah. I googled them to see what other people were saying, as there was no goddamn way I would buy their album if they were. There were a number of folks who were asking the same thing. Apparently, they are pretty militant about being American and anti-welfare and basically do not like people who they feel that aren't 'holding themselves responsible for their own problems', but I wasn't able to find any evidence of anything blatant. I love their music, though, so I guess I will give them the benefit of the doubt. For now, that is - and hopefully I am not on the way of making a total ass out of myself......I did return my Superjoint Ritual album, though.

Here's the video for 'Addiction' from their latest release, Warriors. Enjoy!   

This Is Why We Headbang

I was recently introduced to this cool chick who has produced a 10 minute documentary on the DIY hardcore scene. Check them out:

Part 2:

New Surveys are Up!

Yeah, I know these were supposed to be up and running eons ago, but you know, life gets in the way.........

I have created two new surveys for my project on women of color in the alternative music scenes. These questionnaires are geared toward women who consider themselves as either racialized or part of an ethno-cultural group musicians and music listeners - only. If you know of anyone who might be interested in participating that is a WOC, please pass the links on.

The first questionnaire is geared towards musicians and music lovers: Click Here to take the survey.

The second is more focused towards musicians: Click here to take the survey.

I estimate that each questionnaire should take about 10-15 minutes to complete (10 questions each). On the second, you can leave your email address if you want me to contact you later for a more detailed discussion.

What is the purpose of these questionnaires? the project I am working on is going to partly be a collection of personal stories from women of colour in the rock / metal / alternative music scene. More importantly, because the book is for women, I want to ensure that the book is based on what people are interested in finding out about this subject. So if there is something you would like to hear / read more about, holla. Timeline: I would like to complete a proposal within the month.

Again, thanks to everyone who participated in my first questionnaire and I will post the results shortly. And thanks to everyone who took the time to complete these new ones and for speading this blog link to those whom they might feel Leave me a comment is you have any questions or concerns.

New Post Is Up...Err, Somewhere Else

Yvette over at Six Impossible Things Before Breakfast invited me to post something for her Black History Month 32-day celebration. What did I choose to write about? Music, of course. The post also appears at Mamalicious! As you can see from above I have posted the accompanying jukebox that went with the post. Good stuff, just wish I had a bigger selection to choose from. I'll probably get around to posting the entirety on my new blog.......if I could only come up with a name. Enjoy!

Yes this is a 'hit and run' post

I just read an amazing piece over at The Angry Black Woman that was mad cool. It's always exciting to read something that articulates how you feel - especially when you are too lazy to write it yourself. I've been digging the writer Karnythia's blog for a hot minute.

Yesterday I interviewed this dude that I've also been feelin' for a hot minute. Those of you in the know will be familliar with Eugene S. Robinson's work, either through his role as the singer for Oxbow or as his work as a journalist. It was a great experience, not my best as a journo, as my phone kept on shorting out (damn you Blackberry) and the fact that I was pretty nervous - but I hope to have the interview up on my upcoming music blog, which will make it's debut as soon as I come up with a fancy smanchy name. Stay tuned! 

A Follow up to the Last Post, and Music News

I am one of those folks who play air guitar in their pyjamas.

Despite coming from a musical family, my lack of musical talent is embarrassing. While I was blessed with a father who willingly paid for flute and piano lessons, I was never really good at playing them. More because I was incredibly lazy as a child and had no-self esteem. So instead, I write about music while my dad, one of my brothers and my little sister are professional musicians ( they get paid for their musical talents). Dammit!

In an earlier post I was waxing poetic about this video I found of Mastodon's Brann Dailor playing which blew my mind. Here it is.

Also, you have to check out this video of Bad Brain's Earl Hudson jamming with Dave Ghrol and Taylor Hawkins from the Foo Fighters:

Also, for all you metal heads out there there is a kick ass Festival this summer which is coming through the T-dot in August. Yahoo!! I'm more interested in seeing Slipknot, Sevendust and of course, Mastodon than the other bands, but it should be good. All the US dates are listed on the MTV site. I will definitely be going but I might also check out the San Diego show, as I will most likely be in 'dem parts for a conference around that time, so if you're going, Holla!

Black Focused Schools

I just wanted to add something from the last post on the recent decision about implementing a black-focused school and afro (or afri)centric programs.

Chris wrote: Laina, I think you've followed this story much more than I have.... but is there any study or science that supports the greater potential achievements of currently poorly-served afro-, afrocaribbean- and otherwise visibly 'black' students will gain from this initiative? I am deeply anti-segregationist, deeply committed to public education. While I think I'm as deeply-plugged into the complex racial issues affecting Toronto society as your average mainstream liberal white guy can be, and I would never dismiss a proposed solution on the basis of my own views. I just wish I could feel that the Toronto District School Board has real information informing this baldly obvious attempt at quick-fixing an ancient and stubborn problem. What do you think? -

Chris, I haven't read the report, but you can access the School Safety Panel study panel that was spearheaded by Toronto lawyer Julian Falconer Here. First, the discussion about black-focused schools started over a decade ago, but it was the murder of Jordan Manners that happened at a Toronto high school last year, plus the sexual assault of a Muslim female student (which was not reported to the authorities by the teachers) that sparked the most recent discussion, as Falconer proposed that a study be conducted to look at how kids are faring at schools Not that it necessarily ties in with the need for these schools as I have not read one report that the murder, which happened at Manner's school had anything to do with race, per se, even though Manners was biracial.

Was it a quick-fixing solution? Perhaps, as I said in my Blogher post that there are other issues that largely remain ignored that have caused the 40% drop-out rate among black students. Do we need statistical evidence to prove that these programs are needed? I don't think so. Was there statistical evidence used when religious schools were implemented into the Toronto Board of Education? As far as I know, there was not. Honestly, I am a bit irked that whenever something is implemented surrounded 'helping' black folks, we are supposed to deliver hard and fast, factual evidence to make people see that our concerns are legitimate, versus listening to the concerns of parents and students. It's like they are not to be believed, or are making stuff up, or worse yet, perhaps this 'problem' is simply a figment of people's imaginations as anything that has not been experienced by non-blacks simply does not exist - or is simply just not true.

Thoughts?